When I get hit on
i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search
i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement
Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m Linda Belcher from Bob’s Burgers while I pet Stark.
- stop being a fucking bitch
- eat more of it
- cry you fucking pussy
Bottles bottles bottles
What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .
I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.
How white people compliment someone: Aw, you look really pretty <3
How Black people compliment someone: MAN LOOK I’M TIRED OF YOU ALWAYS COMING OUT HERE STUNTIN ON FOLK FOR NO GODDAMN REASON I CAN’T FUCKING STAND YOU BITCH SMFH