Welcome Motherfuckers

porndirector:

When I get hit on

punkwarren:

striderdaves:

i love catfish so much because they act like theyre fbi agents or something when theyre really just using reverse google image search

i thought you meant the animal and let me tell you that was a wild minute of me trying to figure out the psychology of fish thinking they’re federal law enforcement

goteamjosh:

Sometimes I like to pretend that I’m Linda Belcher from Bob’s Burgers while I pet Stark.

if something is too spicy for you, follow these simple steps!

cybersuccubus:

  1. stop being a fucking bitch
  2. eat more of it
  3. cry you fucking pussy

bewbin:

Bottles bottles bottles

First episode of Orange is the New Black: Wow this theme song is long
Halfway through the season: THE ANIMALS THE ANIMALS IS TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED TILL THE CAGE IS FULL THE CAGE IS FULL THE DAY IS NEW AND EVERYONE IS WAITING WAITING ON YOU AND YOOOOOOOOOOUVE GOT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME
why yalls garlic bread so nasty
Anonymous

olivegarden:

What the fuck. What thef. Uck. You come on here, you come into my house, you take a shit on my post you shit on garlic bread, you shit on everything I stand for, on this, the day of my daughter’s wedding… .

nedsseveredhead:

I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.

white people: this is SO spicy
me: it's water

thebigblackwolfe:

How white people compliment someone: Aw, you look really pretty <3

How Black people compliment someone: MAN LOOK I’M TIRED OF YOU ALWAYS COMING OUT HERE STUNTIN ON FOLK FOR NO GODDAMN REASON I CAN’T FUCKING STAND YOU BITCH SMFH

starcevic:

videohall:

Greyhound being read a scary story

this is important to me